Hong Kong fast food: part 1

Hong Kong is a foodie's paradise.  Your dining choices in Hong Kong run the gamut from curried fish balls on a stick in the street to 9-course degustation menus on the 110th floor.  But at some point, we all gravitate back to the ubiquitous fast food chains for something familar, cheap and deep-fried. Allow me if you will to do a little review of some of Hong Kong's most popular Western fast food chains.

First stop, Maccas.  What strikes me most about McDonalds is how standard it is across borders.  Most of the differences you find at Hong Kong McDonalds are minor, Vincent Vega style examples.  They have a prawn burger.  They offer taro pie and taro shakes.  And there is no caramel sundae.  I know this because I tried to order one and it was as though I had ordered a walrus in suitcase sauce.  There was nothing but confusion all around.

The only Hong Kong McDonalds item I would miss in Australia is the "GCB".  Presumably this stands for grilled chicken burger, because that is what it is.  But you cannot ask for a "grilled chicken burger", otherwise confusion reigns.

This is a problem for me because I have a policy when ordering in fast food places that I refuse to say the name of an item if I think it is stupid. There is a gourmet burger place here called "Shake 'Em Buns" whose nomenclature tomfoolery is particularly egregious. They call their basic hamburger the "Missionary" and their cheeseburger the "Cushin for the Pushin'".  I will not order those burgers by name under any circumstances. I would rather go hungry. I will ask for a cheeseburger. You know what I mean, dammit.

Where was I?  Oh yes, the GCB.  When you finally get one, the GCB is actually pretty good - the chicken has an amazing soy and chilli marinade which is frankly wasting its talents working for McDonalds.

Hong Kong McDonalds is also unconscionably cheap. I cannot be expected not to eat fast food when a regular Big Mac meal costs A$2.50. The lack of caramel on my sundae is assauged by its price of A$0.75.  A McChicken burger costs A$1. From this, we can conclude that Australians are getting majorly ripped off.

But by far the most notable thing about Hong Kong McDonalds is the McDonalds Wedding Party, the wedding for people who are still mad that their parents wouldn't take them to McDonalds for their sixth birthday.

You get a McDonalds restaurant for two hours, decorations, an MC, burgers and fries for all the guests, McDonaldland character bonbonerie and a pair of McDonalds-themed wedding rings. You can even get a cake made out of hot apple pies! Packages start at A$500 for 20 guests.

Now, ladies I know you are probably thinking "that's not for me". But you haven't heard the best bit yet.  They can also do your dress! Why spend thousands of dollars on some lame Mariana Hardwick creation when you can get a dress made out of balloons for less than A$200?

As far as I know, Hong Kong is the only place in the world McDonalds offers weddings. I am not quite sure what this says about Hongkongers. Maybe they are cheap. Maybe they just really like hamburgers. All I can say for certain is this: it is a real thing that actually exists.  I think that is all I can tell you.

Now I was going to review KFC next, but the whole wedding thing sort of took the wind out of my sails for now.  So I will be back next time with a look at Hong Kong KFC. A minor bit of foreshadowing: it is neither finger-licking nor good.