In 1993, Paul Keating had the idea to start an international television network broadcast by satellite to our Asian and Pacific neighbours. He originally wanted to use the network exclusively to broadcast insults at Dr Mahathir, but was eventually convinced that the new network would help engage Australia with the region by showcasing Australian culture, teaching English and encouraging foreign investment and trade with Australia.
The problem with this plan is that some of the people who live in Asia and the Pacific already speak English, and they do so in broad, semi-comprehensible Australian accents. It turns out that these "Aussie expats" were also extremely keen on the idea of an Australian network engaging with them by showcasing football and police dramas. These Aussie expats also had a fair bit of money and so attracted advertisers, which was handy because the Government is frankly not that keen on funding the ABC stations they can pick up in Canberra, let alone some mad venture to broadcast to dirt farmers in Ulaanbaatar.
As a result, the Australia Network has always been a bit of a messy compromise between the worthy and noble aim of engaging with Asia-Pacific and the no less worthy and noble aim of showing the footy.
Unlike the venerable Radio Australia (which has broadcast since 1941), the Australia Network has only been around since 1993. Still, it is telling that in that time it has managed no less than three name changes. The whole debacle that was the Australia Network tender over the past 18 months has highlighted the fact that no-one really knows what to do with it.
As you may have noticed, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the Australia Network. I think it is a brilliant idea in theory which could be wonderful, both for engaging with the region and for entertaining expats. Unfortunately, you ultimately have to judge a television network by what programmes it shows, rather than by how good an idea it is in principle. The Australia Network's programming is something of a mixed bag.
The good is indisputably the AFL. For those Aussie expats who come from south of the Barassi line, four mostly live games of AFL a week is mana from heaven. Frankly I'd be happy if they showed the footy and nothing else. The network lost a lot of expat fans when they stopped showing the NRL a couple of seasons ago. Those northerners found cold comfort in the NRL being available on Setanta for a mere A$15 a month.
The ABC News is pretty good too, if only for the fact I can still get my nightly dose of horrific financial news delivered with clever graphs by upbeat economist Alan Kohler.
The range of ABC documentaries and panel shows would be interesting if I hadn't seen them all several years ago in Australia. The Gruen Transfer, the New Inventors, Foreign Correspondent and Catalyst are all two years old - which is a particular problem for a science and technology show. I'm pretty sure I saw Bastard Boys before I had kids (pun not intended). Two in the Top End is four years old - they were toasting Kevin Rudd for his decision to sign the Kyoto Protocol the other night in a nicely heartbreaking moment. Costa is still in his cult Garden Odyssey days on the Australia Network.
Then there are the cooking and lifestyle shows. Poh's Kitchen is not so bad - especially when, a few months ago, it was on straight after BBC was showing Poh in an elimination challenge during Masterchef Season 1. That kind of spoils it, when you can just check the programme guide and realise she's probably going to be okay.
Mercurio's Menu seems to be on every time I turn on the telly. I did not even realise Paul Mercurio had a cooking show. I have two questions: 1. Is this the same Paul Mercurio who starred in Strictly Ballroom? 2. If so, why?
But my personal unfavourite is The Best in Australia. I must have seen this show a dozen times on the Australia Network and I am none the wiser who the three chefs are or why the Australia Network felt that its already ample lineup of cooking shows needed one more entrant. The internet tells me this is a Lifestyle Food channel show so I assume it is getting a wider audience on the Australia Network than in Australia.
Finally we have the Sunday Lights arts lineup. You know how the ABC shows arts programmes from 3 to 5 on a Sunday afternoon? Of course you don't. You're watching the footy, mowing the lawn or interacting with your family. Well, Australia Network has decided the arts is good for you and you are bloody well going to watch it. So not only do they have a couple of hours worth from 3 to 5, just to make sure you don't miss it they replay it in prime time a couple of hours later. Hooray - it's HMS Pinafore starring Jon English. That guy just won't leave Gilbert and Sullivan alone, will he?
The only thing that gives me heart was when I visited Australia at Easter and realised that my memories of Australian television programming may have been just a little bit rose-tinted. Seven had a promo for a show about traumatised fat people called Excess Baggage, Nine is committed to showing Two and a Half Men for as long as the Americans keep making it and Ten is reviving Young Talent Time. Maybe having only one Australian channel isn't such a bad thing.
The good is indisputably the AFL. For those Aussie expats who come from south of the Barassi line, four mostly live games of AFL a week is mana from heaven. Frankly I'd be happy if they showed the footy and nothing else. The network lost a lot of expat fans when they stopped showing the NRL a couple of seasons ago. Those northerners found cold comfort in the NRL being available on Setanta for a mere A$15 a month.
The ABC News is pretty good too, if only for the fact I can still get my nightly dose of horrific financial news delivered with clever graphs by upbeat economist Alan Kohler.
The range of ABC documentaries and panel shows would be interesting if I hadn't seen them all several years ago in Australia. The Gruen Transfer, the New Inventors, Foreign Correspondent and Catalyst are all two years old - which is a particular problem for a science and technology show. I'm pretty sure I saw Bastard Boys before I had kids (pun not intended). Two in the Top End is four years old - they were toasting Kevin Rudd for his decision to sign the Kyoto Protocol the other night in a nicely heartbreaking moment. Costa is still in his cult Garden Odyssey days on the Australia Network.
Then there are the cooking and lifestyle shows. Poh's Kitchen is not so bad - especially when, a few months ago, it was on straight after BBC was showing Poh in an elimination challenge during Masterchef Season 1. That kind of spoils it, when you can just check the programme guide and realise she's probably going to be okay.
Mercurio's Menu seems to be on every time I turn on the telly. I did not even realise Paul Mercurio had a cooking show. I have two questions: 1. Is this the same Paul Mercurio who starred in Strictly Ballroom? 2. If so, why?
But my personal unfavourite is The Best in Australia. I must have seen this show a dozen times on the Australia Network and I am none the wiser who the three chefs are or why the Australia Network felt that its already ample lineup of cooking shows needed one more entrant. The internet tells me this is a Lifestyle Food channel show so I assume it is getting a wider audience on the Australia Network than in Australia.
Finally we have the Sunday Lights arts lineup. You know how the ABC shows arts programmes from 3 to 5 on a Sunday afternoon? Of course you don't. You're watching the footy, mowing the lawn or interacting with your family. Well, Australia Network has decided the arts is good for you and you are bloody well going to watch it. So not only do they have a couple of hours worth from 3 to 5, just to make sure you don't miss it they replay it in prime time a couple of hours later. Hooray - it's HMS Pinafore starring Jon English. That guy just won't leave Gilbert and Sullivan alone, will he?
The only thing that gives me heart was when I visited Australia at Easter and realised that my memories of Australian television programming may have been just a little bit rose-tinted. Seven had a promo for a show about traumatised fat people called Excess Baggage, Nine is committed to showing Two and a Half Men for as long as the Americans keep making it and Ten is reviving Young Talent Time. Maybe having only one Australian channel isn't such a bad thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment